20 Pounds Lighter

After my workout this morning I was getting out of the shower and before I could stop myself I was on my scales for the first time in a week. I was shocked to see that I've reached the 20 lb. mark. I've lost 20 pounds! The last three weeks or so I've only been losing one pound per week. At first I was losing two or three pounds per week. I've been doing the same workout routine for a while now, maybe I need to mix it up. I increased the resistance on the elliptical today. Hopefully I can keep increasing the resistance, making my workouts a little harder. Also, the 3 minute cool down puts me at 23 minutes of exercise, almost 25 minutes, so I might as well make it 25, right? Slowly I'll get up to 30 minute workouts. Slow and steady wins the race. Now I'm going to have steamed pork buns for dinner, while watching My Extreme Affliction on NBC. Television has become a reflection of our strange world.

numbers...

as i was swimming today, i stared to think about my weight, and the actual numbers on the scale. my poor body has really gone through some major weight gains and losses over the last decade.

here's a brief rundown:

2001- 307 pounds. right before weight loss surgery.

2002- 150 pounds. a year after surgery.

2003- 135 pounds. after abdomenaplasty surgery to remove 15 pounds of hanging skin.

2004- 185 pounds. after a year of major depression and heavy drinking.

2006- 220 pounds. after 2 years of cutting back on drinking, but eating crap and struggling with depression.

2011- 250 pounds. after starting on meds for fibromyalgia that cause major weight gain.

today: 225 pounds. after swimming for 3 months and eating healthy.

i want to be back under 200 pounds by the end of the year. it feels totally doable.

here's the news story i did in 2007 talking about my surgery and the struggles afterwards. i can't stand to watch it, but i'm glad i did it. they didn't get all the info right, but it was close enough. i feel like it tells at least part of my story. watch for dan in the nook. he's on camera for all of 2 seconds. LOL

Dinner tonight

Enchiladas stuffed with potatoes, kale, spring onions, and pumpkin seeds. Bibb lettuce salad with tangerine dressing. Blueberry cobbler from scratch. Zero added oil, and no animals were harmed... or even insulted... in the making of this feast :)

Quiet around here! How are you doing?

Project 150

I've been doing yoga, and walking, and now made some radical changes to my eating so far this year. Now it's time for me to set up some actual goals. I think I'm ready for a more specific plan rather than just "eat better" and "be healthier".

I'm calling this all "Project 150", because hey, a catchy name is much more fun to say then "Gotta quit being so fat, and by the way, be nicer to your ticker, too, asshole". :) Here it is:

Weight at 150, cholesterol at 150, by 1/5. It gives me a little over 9 months, so it's a little stretch, but a doable one.

I'm honestly not sure about how my cholesterol will change, now that I'm eating so much better. I'll get it tested again the first week in April and see how it changes. I picked 150 because supposedly, if you can get and keep your chol that low, your chances of getting heart disease are super, super low. My mom had terrible CHF that she didn't treat until it was FAR too late. I'm going to try to head that off before it even happens to me.

So there you have it! Project 150.

OH! Yesterday... SURROUNDED by corned beef and cheese EVERYWHERE, I didn't touch one single bite! Tom ordered fried mac and cheese balls where we were, and I thought I'd cave, but I did not! And HELL YEAH, I LOVE mac and cheese.

small changes & my big challeges

small changes: i bought some red leaf swiss chard at the grocery. it looked neat. i cooked it up in some olive oil and garlic. YUM!

eating more citrus too. less cheese. no fast food.

my big challenge is to get out of the pool and try some different classes at the gym. pilates, yoga, spinning, something. time to leave the comfort zone of the pool to see what else is out there.

and my biggest challenge: give up drinking. this is such a struggle. and i hate that it's so difficult for me to get a handle on. but it's time to tackle this problem head on. no more shame.

Engine 2 - How it's going

I finished week one of Engine 2 diet successfully. As a reward, I bought myself some Philosophy conditioner that I've wanted for awhile now :) I don't know what my reward for week 2 will be yet, maybe the matching shampoo. I'm setting up small rewards for myself that aren't expensive, but things I'd like around me, and things that aren't food and aren't clothes. Yeah, I can be bribed!

Last week was no more dairy. Not going to lie, it wasn't easy. I was shocked at how much I relied on dairy, how many of my "go to" foods were dairy. I'd snack on cottage cheese, a hard boiled egg, cheese sandwiches, milk... I ate a lot of dairy. I was surprised that part of what was hard was having replacements for dairy handy, stuff that was just as easy to grab as dairy, not so much actually missing milk, cheese, etc.

After the first week, I feel really good. I don't know the exact word to use, I just feel less "thick". I also weighed 1.5 pounds less this morning than I did last Monday. I'm down with that. I think later this week, I'll get my cholesterol checked. I'm kind of curious.

Today starts a tough week - no more meat. No chicken, fish, cow, bison.... nothing. I started to cut back last week, but now's the time for none of it. I did some research into restaurants that should be easier than others to eat at, and I stocked up on non-meat food this weekend, so I'm set up as best as I can I think. I'm actually excited. I like trying new foods, and cooking, so I think it will be fun figuring out what to make that will satisfy my hunger as well as helping me not feel deprived.

Aside from that, I'm still walking at least 4 days a week. Yoga's sort of fell by the way side, I'll get that back in this week. I'll have time. I won't have to go out and hunt my dinner :)

Thanks for the place to write all this stuff out, too!

update on my progress

i got weighed at the rheumatologist yesterday. i'm officially down 15 pounds since december. i've gone down a size in pants. clothes fit better. i feel healthier and stronger.

what i've done right:

• i gave up fast food, probably my worst addiction
• i cut out most carbs and eat mostly lean protein & veggies
• (no bread, pasta or potatoes)
• i eat slower, put down my fork between bites
• i follow the weight-loss surgery rules
• i went from no exercise to swimming 6 days a week
• i gave up mentos

what can be improved:

• i am obsessed with sugar free hall's cough drops. i need to give them up.
• i still drink wine. my last real addiction to get under control.
• i love cheese, but i'm trying to cut back. now it's just 1/2 a piece of cheese on my egg whites.
• i am kicking ass with my swimming, but it's time to leave my comfort zone of the pool and start including weights and some kind of aerobics class.
• grazing. when i'm at work, i snack too much. i need to try to stick to 3 meals and less snacking. i want to try and learn what's real hunger vs. boredom or anxiety

i'm changing my basic thinking about diet and exercise. it's now something i just do every day, like brushing my teeth. i will always eat this way and i will always exercise.

i feel like "phase one" of my life changes has been a success, but now it's time for phase 2! lot's of room to improve. it's going to be good.

Engine 2

As Jen has heard about to the point where I am grateful she doesn't shove her fist in my mouth to shut me up, I started the Engine 2 Diet on Monday.

I had originally planned on doing ALL the diet modifications at once. Oh so full of gusto and motivation! Then I watched the week by week videos on the Engine 2 website. The fella who spearheaded putting this diet together laid out a plan where you can phase in changes one week at a time. When I thought about actually DOING it, I thought that sounded wiser.

This week, I have eliminated all dairy. It has been shocking to me how many of my "go to" foods are dairy. Eggs, cheese, cottage cheese, milk. I love them all. However, soy milk is good, and the rest of the stuff, I'll see how I feel after the initial 28 days and go from there. It's only been a couple of days, but already I feel less "weighed down". I don't know if that's because of no dairy or much less meat each day, but I'm down with it. It feels good.

And Tom, who hasn't liked sweet potatoes, tried them again last night! This is huge. I love sweet potatoes, but I never cook with them because he didn't like them. He was good with them! He said he had bad memories of boiled to death sweet potatoes, or worse, the HORRIFYING overcooked, suffocating under marshmallows and diabetic from all the brown sugar casseroles from family holidays gone by. I'll help him get over that, one sweet little spud at a time :)

1 perfect day

every morning when i swim, i think to myself "why not try to have a perfect day?"  again, just trying is good.  here's how my perfect healthy day would be:

5:00am: fresh lemon & ginger tonic

5:30am:  swim for 45 minutes, sauna, shower

7:00am:  breakfast (egg beaters & turkey or veggie sausage)

7:30am: COFFEE!!!!

8:00am:  work (doing my very best)

10:00am: snack (1 bag of soy chips)

12:00pm: lunch (turkey lettuce wraps, sugar free jello)

4:00pm: home (play with dogs, clean)

6:00pm dinner (something healthy)

8:00pm snack: (red pepper, almonds, jello)

9:00pm: bed time!

a "perfect day" would mean no wine.  it would include doing something creative.  i'd enjoy my time with my husband & the mutts.

i've never achieved this "perfect day", but i'm going to keep trying.

try...

i have this thought in my head, that if i just keep trying to do better, improve things, it will all be good.  i'm trying to eat better every day.  less cheese is this week's goal.  i'm swimming an extra lap when there's time.  i'm trying to be nicer to people.  to do better at work.

i don't know if i'm saying this right, but the gist of it is: just try! and when you fail (and you'll fail, like i fail) just keep trying!

the smallest changes that move you forward in life, are the ones that last.  baby steps.  broken eggs.  anything is possible.