why not?

i read an article about running, and all the excuses people make to not run.  it really had an impact on me, and it was part of what fueled me to join a gym.  anytime i start to come up with reasons not to swim, i think of this article, and i go swim.

i had a dream a few months ago, that i was a runner.  it felt amazing.  i woke up thinking, "some day i'm going to run.  with the metal plates in my ankle and weighing over 200 pounds, i believe someday i'll run."

my dad was a runner.  he had a triple bypass in his late 30's, and when he recovered, he became a health nut and marathon runner.  he went from being an overweight junk food eater, to a runner.  he was even featured in the newspaper, showing his giant heart bypass scar on his chest.  (i wish i had a copy of that!)

i'm rambling.   but what i'm trying to say is, why not?  why not swim every morning?  why not eat healthy and lose weight?  and why not dream to run?  

here's the full article.

time for a new swimsuit!

well, i've been swimming for over 6 weeks now.  i am going 5 days a week.  yesterday i noticed that my old swimsuit is falling apart.  from too much swimming!  it just make me laugh, to think that i needed a new one due to overuse.  especially when this suit was too tight on me this past august.

when i get on the scale, i'm not seeing a big drop in pounds.  of course i tend to weight myself in a wet swimsuit.  i also get confused about my weight because it's different on the home scale then the gym.  my clothes are fitting better, so that's enough for me.

overall, i am doing great with exercise, and i follow my dietary goals 80% of the time.  i totally suck at my drinking goal of cutting back on wine.  my 3 glasses of wine in the evenings are hard to give up.  i know it's slowing down my weight loss some.  just something i have to keep working on.

it's been great talking to everyone about their progress, what's easy, what's difficult.  i'm lucky enough to be in close contact with everyone on the blog team, and it's amazing to hear the success stories as well as the struggles.

we're all just human, and we're trying our best, and that's the most we can do.  go team!

McDonald’s confirms that it’s no longer using ‘pink slime’ chemical in hamburgers

This article is reason enough for me to give up the fast food.

fast food is one of my addictions.  i've loved mcdonald's since i was a kid.  i stopped eating fast food in december.  yesterday i got a burger & fries.  and wow, it's not as good as i remembered it.

fast food is something i'm ready to 100% give up.

my new rule, advice to everyone

do not weigh yourself.  just skip it.  instead of the scale, just notice how your clothes might be fitting a little looser, or how you have more energy.  don't let the scale with it's stupid numbers get you down!

if anything, only weight yourself once a month, on the same scale, at the same time and date each month.

p.s.  i love this pic!

baby steps...

i know i've blogged about the big changes, the "sea changes", but i think the small changes mean more.

my small changes:

• putting my fork down between bites.  this allows me to slow down while eating, and to give my stomach enough time to tell my brain that it's full.
• smaller plates:  it seems silly, but i find that i eat smaller portions if i use a smaller plate.  it's one of those old "diet tricks" that actually works for me.
• drinking more water.  i spend the money on bottles of "smart water" because it just tastes better to me.  i always feel better when i've drank lots of water during the day
• drinking less wine.  i like wine.  i like drinking wine after a stressful work day.  i have a hard time going "cold turkey".  so i'm trying to just drink less.  last night i had wine, the night before i didn't.  progress!
• try new healthy things: i tried soy milk in my coffee today.  it's awesome!  switching from dairy to soy is good for my body.  tonight i'm making tuna steaks.  they might be gross, but i'm going to try a recipe that included sesame seeds & oil.  yum...
• cut back on unhealthy things:  i love cheese.  and salt.  i don't have high blood pressure, so i've always used salt.  i'm trying to use it less.  cutting back slowly.  same thing with cheese.  i LOVE cheese, but i'm trying to cut back, slowly.  i eat tofu sausage and egg whites most mornings, but on the weekends i have bacon once.
• throw out the things that are stupid:  sugar free cough drops, mentos, these are things i don't need.  they have gone to the trash.

i love hearing about the stuff everyone is doing.  the 21 day challenge, the juicer, boot camp.  david has been walking on the treadmill in his apartment's gym.  it's great to celebrate our progress!

it's also a real learning experience, trying to do "better", to be healthier, and not always sticking to goals.  i'm trying to own my mistakes, bad judgement, and move forward.  in the past i'd eat some junk food or skip a workout, and then just give up.  now i keep on trying!

p.s. the image of the bronzed baby shoes, brings back memories.  as a child, i was fascinated with mine.  i wanted to find a way to wear those bronze shoes!  LOL

swimming...

i leave the house on cold, snowy mornings, to get my fix.  i wait outside the ugly concreate building at 5:55am, waiting for them to open the doors.  sometimes i go on my lunch hour when i'm working from home.  i go when i'm sick, when i'm tired, when my car is buried under a foot of snow.

i love to swim.  doggy paddle is my signature stroke.  sometimes i float on my back (see the drawing above).  i love the feeling of floating while the water swirls around me.

there are different kinds of "pool people".  there are the times when it's "open family swim" with families and kids.  i avoid those times as a rule.  there are early morning "adult lap" swimmers, athletes, mostly men in speedos and latex swimming fast & hard, splashing everyone, hogging swim lanes.  i go when necessary.  

my favorite time to swim is during "senior water aerobics" lunch hours.  the pool is suddenly filled with chatty old ladies.  some walk with canes or even walkers.  they walk down a special ramp to get into the pool.  once they hit the water, they are transformed.  they start laughing, giving friends a hello hug, trading recipes, or gossiping about the older gent who swims slow laps around them.  they are like a beautiful gaggle of geese!

i think the water feels so good because it's forgiving.  those ladies leave their canes by the side of the pool, and suddenly they can walk without pain.  we all float.  we move.  and it feels lovely.

my favorite part of the pool is the point where the floor of the pool starts to drop off.  going from 3 feet, 4 feet, 6 feet.  i love walking down that steep ledge and feeling the moment where my feet leave the floor and i start to float...

weird addictions, old insecurities, fresh goals...

weird addictions:  well, i have successfully given up the 2 rolls of mentos i was consuming on a daily basis.  i've been "mentos free" since late december!  in an odd twist, i now find myself chomping on sugar free hall's cough drops!  i eat a handful at a time.  there's something about the menthol and the crunching of the hard drops... weird.  and i found out that while they are sugar free, eating too many results in a horrible stomach ache.  so today i will throw out the last of them.  i think it's safe to say i have an oral fixation problem!


"Theoretically, oral-stage fixations are manifested as garrulousness, smoking, continual oral stimulus (eating, chewing objects), and alcoholism. Psychologically, the symptoms include a sarcastic personality, nail biting, etc..."


yeah, that sounds about right...  and of course giving up the wine has been a real struggle.


i do really well with getting to the gym to swim.  i'm great with the low carb diet (no bread, rice, potatoes, sugar, etc...)  but i struggle with giving up wine.  my anxiety kicks in every evening around 4pm and it feels terrible.  i need to remember that the anxiety will pass.


old insecurities:  i swam sunday morning and for the first time, i felt insecure.  they pool was crowded with a bunch of guys doing fast laps.  "power swimmers" who go for an hour straight and don't always stay in their lanes. and there i was, the chubby girl with the weird tattoos, doing my slow doggy paddle, taking up a valuable lane.  i wanted to get out of the pool right away.  but i stayed calm and reminded myself that i deserve to use the pool as much as anyone else.  and that those power swimmer dudes probably weren't paying any attention to me.  so i swam for my usual 30 minutes and actually did more laps then usual.  it's just amazing how quickly the "insecure fat girl" thinking can sneak up on me.


my goals for this week:
1. continue swimming, but try a yoga class (wednesday on my lunch hour), and a spinning class (thursday evening or friday morning.)


2.  no more cough drops!


3.  instead of my usual 2-3 glasses of wine, have just one drink after dinner.  something with vodka (low carb).  i think cutting down instead of trying to give it up will help.  or not.  it's such an embarrassing habit!


4.  start walking around the track at the gym.  i have this weird goal of someday being able to run a mile.  me, running?  sure!

checking in...

i just wondered how everyone was doing with their exercise goals.

here are my random updates, thoughts, etc...

exercise:

• i still love swimming.  i try to go every day, because i just feel amazing afterwards.  plus i "reward" myself with some time in the hot tub or the sauna, and that seems to really help with my arthritis.  i sleep better & my mood is always great after i swim.
• my 30 minutes of swimming and water exercises is good, but i need to "kick it up a notch" if i'm going to lose more weight.  so my goals for next week:
• take a "master swimming" class to learn how to swim better and burn more calories
• try a yoga class
• try an aerobics class
• my gym offers so many classes at all hours of the day and evening, and it's all free, so i need to be brave, go out of my comfort zone (the pool), and try new stuff.

diet:

• i'm sticking to the high protein, low carb diet.  i'm following the weight loss surgery rules about water (when to drink it, how much etc...)  i don't even miss bread, rice or pasta!
• i am struggling with drinking wine.  i need to limit that to 1-2 times a week.  i was doing good with this until monday.  i keep coming up with reason why i "need" a glass of wine.  like:
• i had a bad day at work!
• i have PMS!
• it's the weekend!
• the thing is, i know better.  i never use those excuses to skip working out, so why use them to drink wine?  i need to work on this.  i don't need to beat myself up.  just try, try, try to get better.

i think trying, making improvements, and moving past the "mistakes" or failures is the key.  keep moving forward!

an interesting article on the modeling industry...

here's a link to an amazing article and pictorial about regular vs. plus sized models. i know there are some dudes on this team blog, but the article speaks to what our country considers fat or thin, and how people view their bodies.

in the end, i don't think any of us want to be skinny. we all just want to be able to walk without getting out of breathe. we want to be able to run up a flight of stairs, or carry our groceries in without being winded. we want to be strong physically and mentally. and we want to be around a long time for our friends & families.

it's not just about being weight loss weirdos. it's being healthy, happy, and always imperfect but awesome weirdos!

i broke an egg...

well, i did ok on my liquid diet yesterday. i got through the work day. but i didn't pack any soup so all i had was 2 protein shakes. i left work feeling shaky and bad.

i ended up having some wine and a piece of pizza. i made a bad choice. i broke an egg.

instead of beating myself up, i just got up early and went swimming. i swam a few extra laps and it felt great. i spent some time in the sauna sort of meditating and thinking about my "broken egg".

i decided that doing a liquid only diet is too much for me. and not needed. i've lost over 10 pounds just swimming and following my weight loss surgery diet rules.

so, i'm feeling great, moving forward, and looking forward to keeping up with the good things i'm doing.

all this egg talk is making me hungry for scrambled eggs...

happy birthday to me...

well, today is my bday. i'm not a big fan of bdays. but this one is sort of "special". i'm starting a liquid fast. so no cake for me!!! and i'm happy about it. weird.

i had hoped to swim before work, but i had to come in early. so instead i parked way at the bottom of a steep hill and ran up it, and then did the 3 flights of stairs at work. these are not normal stairs. they are really steep and even the people who run marathons get winded on these stairs.

i had my one small cup of coffee with some steamed skim milk and chocolate protein powder. yum!!! i should have packed some of the soup i made yesterday, but forgot. ah well... i'll be fine.

fyi- the 5 day liquid diet i'm doing is specific to people who've had weight loss surgery. it's 2 days of liquids, then a day of soft protein, semi-soft protein and then firm. it will allow my smaller surgical stomach (called a pouch) to shrink back, and it will also get me on track to follow the rules for after surgery.

1. protein first. lean protein as much as possible. then veggies and fruits, in small amounts. no sugar, alcohol, and very little grains.

2. no water 30 minutes before or after a meal. this allows the food to stay in the stomach longer, so that i feel full longer.

3. exercise every day. this is something i didn't do after surgery. i'm only starting to follow this rule since end of december. it feels great.

i've stopped eating mentos and am allowing myself to have pasta & wine once a week. i think i can do this for the rest of my life. i will try my very best!!!

i got on the scale this morning and i've lost 10 pounds. happy birthday to me!!!

a final thought for today: this will get hard for me. i'll make mistakes. but if i can keep coming back to this as a way of life, and not a quick diet, it will work. blabbering about it on this blog really helps keep me motivated.

good and bad choices...

well, i decided that i'd have a "break" from all the healthy eating last night. i still made roast chicken breast, but i ate the potatoes and had wine. for the first time in a week, i had a nice chardonnay. it was ok. the first glass was a nice buzz. but then it was just sort of a waste. i ended up having a crappy night's sleep too.

but i took that "bad choice" and made a good choice. when i woke up at 5am, i did the dishes and went to the gym. i had the entire pool all to myself and it was lovely. i swam laps (dog paddle, of course) and then did my own weird water aerobics. i got my heart rate going and it felt great. of course i hit the whirlpool and sauna.

it felt so good! i even washed my car and had a small coffee from mcdonald's. weird to go there and not order my favorite #2 meal in the morning. instead of that, dan & i went to my favorite little dinner and i had a big omelet with cheese and bacon. hold the toast and hash browns.

i like the high protein, super low carb way of eating. it's almost easy for me. although i do miss a nice roll of peppermint mentos at times...

i start my 5 day 'fast' on monday, my birthday. i'm strangely excited to NOT have cake. i'll turn 42 drinking protein shakes, and going for a swim. happy birthday to me!

a sea change...

today i've been pondering about changing my old ways of thinking about diet and exercise. i feel like there's been a big shift in my thinking recently. i now see myself making better choices for the rest of my life. it really does feel like a "sea change" in my head. a very drastic change from deep within.

when i say the word "diet", i no longer mean some temporary change in eating habits to loose weight. i now mean the way in which i eat every single day. i choose each and every thing i eat. and i am committed to making better choices, so that i can live a long, healthy and happy life. as much as it's in my control.

i'll make good choices, and sometimes i'll make mistakes. i'll learn from my mistakes and move on. instead of making mistakes, hating myself, and giving up!

i read something recently, an analogy about breaking eggs. the person asks, "in all your years of cooking, have you ever dropped an egg on the floor? when you dropped the egg, did you just stop cooking forever? or did you wipe it up and start over?"

the point being: why let mistakes stop you from trying again? why let a dropped egg keep you from ever making another omelet?

i'm feeling great and making the right choices lately. but i'll screw it up, i'll fail, i'll do the wrong thing. it's inevitable. the big change i'm trying to make is that when i fail, i'll accept the failure, learn from it, and move on. knowing i'll fail at times, but working to not beat myself up about it.

on tuesday i had nothing healthy to eat for breakfast and i was back to work after the holidays. my mistake was being unprepared. so i got mcdonald's, and felt bad. and it was gross!

for lunch that day i made good choices. i stopped my inner critic from telling me that i sucked for eating mcdonald's. it was a bad choice, but i had plenty of chances to make good choices. i've been making good choices for every meal since then.

ok, enough of my rambles. it helps me to keep blogging about this stuff!

small victories...

1.  day 2 at the gym.  rented a locker, brought my awesome new googles, and tried the sauna.  also checked out the showers.  not too creepy!

2.  day 5 or 6 eating better.  lean protein, lots of water, small amount of fruit & veggies, few bites of pasta.    no wine or mentos!

3.  figuring out how to cook for myself and the husband, with 2 sets of mostly different dietary needs.  eggbeaters for the win!

mostly i feel positive, that i can continue this way of life.  dig it!

Today is the first day of the rest of your life!

So I skipped the gym today. I decided a nap and a plate of cheese would be better. I followed the cheese nap with a bottle of wine & fried chicken. Topped it off with a cup of sugar, snorted through my nose. Just checking to see if anyone reads these posts! (edit: oh these posts are read - copax) I've stuck to my no mentos/ no alcohol rule. I drove out in the snow to get to the gym. I swam laps (doggy paddle all the way!) and then sat in the whirlpool. It was pretty cool. One odd thing: there are no fat girls at the gym! It's all soccer moms & their kids, or weird middle-aged jocks. And not a tattoo to be seen! I'm also wondering what the proper etiquette is for strangers in the whirlpool? Do you make small talk, ignore each other, or pretend to intently read (& reread) the rules posted on the wall. You'll never guess what this awkward girl did! Let's just saw that I know the many rules of the whirlpool & I may have broken at least 3 of them. I'm doing great with eating specific to weight loss surgery. The liquid fast will begin on Friday. Exciting!

new year's resolution. there, i said it!

i'm sipping my cup of coffee, listening to experts on the today show talk about how resolutions almost always fail.  well, F that!  i feel a real excitement about my goals.  

for the first time in over 10 years, i've joined a gym.  i am really excited to start my exercise routine with swimming 3 days a week, and then a yoga class or spinning once i'm in a little better shape.  I CAN DO THIS.

i've spent weeks researching a special diet that caters to weight loss surgery patients.  it will start with a 5 days fast, and then i'll go back to the basic post-surgery rules:  protein first, then a small amount of vegetables & fruits (low glycemic), tons of water, protein shakes, and no snacking.  I CAN DO THIS.

i'm also giving up the mentos.  i was up to 2 rolls a day.  i stopped buying them last week and yesterday i had my last piece.  

yesterday we had a great pizza for lunch.  then that night we had a really nice red wine, and a few bites of cannoli.  it was all good, but i need to make that kind of stuff a special occasion and not an every day thing.

i'm cutting way back on coffee and alcohol.  i'm slowly cutting back on the coffee (so that i don't get horrible caffeine withdrawal headaches).  i'm cutting alcohol back to just one drink with dinner.  when i do the 5 day fast (hoping to do that in about a week) i'll have no coffee or drinks.  I CAN DO THIS.

i'm participating in a 30 day yoga challenge with friends at work.  it entails eating 1 vegetarian meal, 15 minutes of yoga and 15 minutes of meditation every day.  I CAN DO THIS.

and finally, i want to make healthy meals for the husband, to walk the dog more, and to find new way's to handle stress.  WE CAN DO THIS.

I just read a review of "Food Rules: An Eater's Manual" and I like the basic notion of the book.

I've seen people who eat this way, people who are vegans or strict vegetarians, who seem to radiate health. I don't radiate health eating the way I do. It's just something I've been really thinking about recently, so this book resonates with me.

I saw a friend stop drinking, then struggle with her weight, and eventually become quite healthy over a 10 year period.  It was difficult, but she did it.

Also, I read an interview with Ellen Degeneres, and have watched the show when I work from home. she's gone totally vegan, cut out sugar and caffeine, and she's just this radiant ball of energy. She talks about stopping eating animal products after seeing how animals are mistreated, then cutting out sugar. She talks about eating fruit and vegetables and some basic grains, and how amazing she feels. It seems so..... right.

But I love cheeseburgers, chicken, Mentos and wine! Then I think, how is "loving" that stuff doing me any good?

Ah, the struggle...

healthy green shake recipe?

Executive Chef Jim Perko with the Cleveland Clinic's Lifestyle 180 program said instead of buying a health food drink from the grocery store, you can actually make one that's better for your body and your wallet.

NewsChannel5's Maurielle Lue and registered dietitian Kristin Kirkpatrick looked on as Chef Perko mixed these healthy ingredients into a green elixir.

* 1 Cup of kale
* 1 Cup of spinach
* Green grapes
* 1 orange
* 1 banana
* Cap full of Chia Seed
* Ice
* Water

The ingredient that makes this shake different is the Chia Seed. It thickens the drink, making it grow inside your stomach and keeping you fuller... longer.

Finally, add Ice and water (orange juice if you want a sweeter taste) and watch this drink turn bright green.

Kirkpatrick said looking for foods that come with NO LABELS, like fresh fruits and vegetables, do wonders for your weight control.

All of the ingredients in this drink are healthy alternatives to other breakfast smoothies that contain added preservatives and sugars.

anyone brave enough to try this????

interesting article on junk food addiction...

this article talks about scientific proof of junk food addiction.

buffalo & bison burgers....

 Eating healthy never tasted so good!

Buffalo meat fits the dietary guidelines of the American Heart Association and is often prescribed by physicians to patients who should limit their fat intake. Several of the nationally recognized weight-loss programs list buffalo as one of their recommended "diet foods".