Excuses, epiphanies, and insights.

I am so excited...this is my first ever blogging experience. it couldn't have come at a better time. i am so thankful my awesome sister-in-law invited me to participate. 2012 is going to be a good year for me....but it is up to me to make it that way. first of all, i will be 40! it is a great way to review your life the last 39 years and make a better plan for the next 40.

I just wanted to share some of my excuses/epiphanies/insights because it helps me get it out of my head so i can let it go. Please do the same. I am curious...

Being overweight has been convenient for me...it allows me to stay isolated....at least that is what i tell myself....what i am trying to say is that it has served a purpose...protection. i really don't want or need that protection anymore...but it is so scarey to let it go...because i will be vulnerable. it will be letting go of an identity and creating a new one without "hiding". I think this is my biggest resistance to changing my life...it is going to be really hard to change from the inside out...lots of growing pains expected. that is why i hope you don't mind if i share it on here...i need to get it out of my head and into the light...so to speak.

Another excuse...food is my drug of choice. Period.

I don't know how to cook....but that is such a stupid excuse...i have bought several cookbooks for beginners and i just bought a slow cooker recipe magazine - a diet version so i don't have any excuses...the recipes look good. btw, i am a very picky eater...that doesn't help...i like the flavor of onions but i don't like to eat them. i don't like any kind of pepper etc. etc. I think a lot of what will happen in my cooking crusades will be experimenting with spices etc.

One of the hardest things for me to kick i think will be my coke habit (Coca-Cola that is ;) It is so easy to drink my calories and feel satisfied. I actually feel a little happy or excited when i see the coca-cola logo...wow, they did their job...on me...

Self-sabatoge will always be my lurking, unwanted companion.

So, thanks that was a little scarey but i will continue to blog/blab..however you want to look at it.